My Mum, Marie Galvin, was born in Guildford in 1937 with her twin brother David. Her five other brothers were Peter, Roy, Lorrie, Patrick, and Michael. She told us of memories of the war years and hiding under tables during air-raids. But also, happy times and having rabbits and chickens in the back garden, and Chum the dog.
When she was 7, she developed a brain tumour and needed surgery at Atkinson Morley hospital in London. Tragically although the surgery was successful in removing the tumour the optic nerve was damaged and she lost most of her sight. The long-term effects of the surgery were to lead to many problems physically and mentally in later life, but mum never complained much about her bad luck.
When she was 9 Mum was sent to St. Vincent's catholic school for the blind near Liverpool. Although this was hard for her, and she missed her brothers (especially David), at school she met her best friend, Ann Healey. During those years in Liverpool Uncle Con and Aunt Margaret and their daughter Rita picked her up for some holidays and weekends. She was very fond of the family and was asking after Uncle Con in the past 2 years whilst at Dene Place Care Home.
Her brother Patrick told the story of how her father, my grandad, Bill, wrote to Winston Churchill so that he could be released from National Service in the RAF to collect and take mum home for the summer holidays. Imagine his surprise when he was summoned at his base to collect Mum and take her back home to Guildford! Patrick told this and other stories so well.
When she left school Mum returned to Guildford where she briefly worked at Plastic Coatings. During this time, she formed a long and enduring friendship with Lilli, and her husband Roy, whose mother Mary was my Nan Win’s, cousin and closest friend and she remembered nights out dancing.
**( we think she was close to Lilli even when they were younger).
In Guildford Mum attended a club for the blind and visually handicapped where she met my Dad John Bates and they married in 1965, living in Upperton Road, Guildford near the railway station.
In 1970 we moved to Oak Tree Drive Bellfield’s where mum and dad were to live happily for almost 50 years. Our Nan, Win was a big part of our lives and when Grandad died suddenly, Nan moved to a flat near her son Peter which was also within walking distance of Oak Tree Drive. Later Nan lived in Bellfields Court, a flat just a couple of minutes’ walk away. Mum and Nan were devoted to each other, and rarely a day would pass without them speaking or seeing each other.
My Nan helped mum so much when Linda and I were children, but despite her disability mum still managed to cook Sunday roasts and we looked forward to her baking. Mum never believed her baking turned out well and would call her signature rock cakes “gone wrong cakes” but I remember Linda’s friend coming to tea and asking for a gone wrong cake. They were always delicious!
Mum was kindhearted and loved animals, as well as guide dogs over the years we adopted a stray cat or two that mum would feed up. We also had a budgie (that famously later dropped dead on Christmas day) and several goldfish – some of which got their freedom by being released into Uncle Peters Garden Pond. When dads first guide dog Lonnie retired mum enjoyed having a dog to keep her company when Dad was at work, Lonnie became accustomed to taking himself for a walk up the road to Nans flat and would come back when he wanted and bark at the door.
Mum’s faith was important to her. As a family we walked to Challoner Hall in Bellfield’s for Sunday mass, and later Uncle David would drive us to St. Mary’s Ryde’s Hill or St Pius at Burpham.
During their older years Mum and Dad spent much of their time playing bowls and at their Gambit club. Until mums’ mobility became a problem, they also enjoyed many holidays at hotels specially adapted for Blind people. They especially liked Eastbourne where the layout of the town made it easy to walk around.
During the late 1990s mum started having memory and balance problems, which would gradually affect her for the rest of her life. She was referred to a consultant at St George’s Hospital Tooting, normal pressure Hydrocephalus was diagnosed due to after-effects of her earlier surgery. She elected to have a shunt fitted, but despite the successful surgery no improvement in her balance resulted.
Mum and Dad managed to live on their own in Bellfield’s until July 2019. Dad became mum’s primary carer as her physical and mental condition gradually deteriorated. Even when mum became completely housebound, they were still very happy together. Linda, their grandchildren, and I have an eternal memory of them sitting in their armchairs either side of the fire snoozing happily with dad’s guide dog Emily at their feet.
Mum and Dad wouldn’t have enjoyed life so much had it not been for the volunteer’s that support clubs like Bowls for the Blind, Gambit, Guide dog events, and also, from Church that for many years picked up my mum every Sunday morning to attend mass. Many of these volunteers became my parents’ dearest friends. Mum and Dad managed at home for so long with the support of the wonderful carers from ‘Home Instead’ and various gardeners and cleaners, some of which would pop round to check on them in their own time.
By 2019 mum was having frequent falls so Linda looked for care home places. They moved to Dene Place in Horsley in July 2019 where they shared a double room. They were happy there together for those first months. Because of her memory problems, sometimes mum would forget where she was and think she was staying at a nice hotel in Eastbourne!
Covid affected so many care homes and it looked like mum and dad had escaped its ravages but tragically only a matter of days before they were due to be vaccinated both mum and dad contracted covid. Sadly, dad did not survive and I think my mum was left heartbroken, although many days she didn’t remember he was gone and called out for John. Despite this mum was well cared for at Dene Place and Linda visited every week right up until mums’ sudden deterioration.
Linda and I both bear immense gratitude for the support that we received at Dene Place Care home during those last days.
Finally, I’d like to finish by saying that Mum (and Dad) taught Linda and I the importance of being positive and having a happy outlook on life. I will miss you mum.